The Optimists

I wouldn't say I loved the Optimists by Andrew Miller, but I found it interesting. It's an oddly visual novel, as the protagonist is a photographer and his sister writes about painters - many of the names I looked up. The photographer was in Rwanda during the genocide and the novel is a story about how he tries to process his experience.


Theodore Gericault, The Raft of the Medusa

There are quite a few references to Greek mythology as well, which I must admit to liking in a novel. When she leaves the mental hospital, Clare refers to three of the nurses as the Three Fates: Clotho, the "spinner" who spun the threads of life with her distaff to bring a being into existence; Lachesis, the apportioner, who decided how much time for life was to be allowed for each person or being, measured the thread of life with her rod and chose a person's destiny after a thread was measured; and Atropos, the "inflexible" or "inevitable" who chose the mechanism of death and ended the life of each mortal by cutting their thread with her "abhorred shears." After swimming in a quarry, she references Lethe, the River of Forgetfulness, and Acheron, River of Woe.

One of my favourite parts was Ray handing out the postcards with good news written on the back of them. Clem, the protagonist, joins in on a trip to help Ray buy a suit for a wedding.

"People do what they can," said Ray. "I find it helps to think of them as slightly better than they are."

Later in the novel, when Clem goes to Brussels with his photographs and interviews a man responsible for the genocide, he also makes postcards of one of his photos and distributes them around the city. Public art like this has always struck me as something I'd love to get involved with, I just don't have the slightest idea of where to start.

Many of the settings were incredibly familiar - I've taken that train ride between London and Edinburgh, through Berwick. I've been to Dundee and down the Arbroath Road. I've been to Brussels. The descriptions of Toronto - Chinatown, Union Station, Yorkdale - call up lots of memories. The product names were also very familiar - like Habitat furniture and Bialetti coffee machines. I loved when he described a library of books "more furniture than literature." The references to Chiang Kai-shek glasses reminded me of my trip to Taiwan, just this time last year for Lunar New Year.



Plus I googled to figure out what the hell a fish kettle is. It's worth a read.


Weegee


Dorothy Lange


Don McCullins


Don McCullins


Capa

I Do Have Slightly Pointy Teeth...

I was just about to post a blog all about how people can be real jerks. The girl that inspired the almost-post is more self-centered perhaps than anything and certainly good at timing things to blow my attempts at a good mood.

And then Padraic and I were chatting online:

8:16pm Padraic
so is the running women only?

8:17pm Amanda
no, but the men are supposed to dress in women's clothes
you should come, it'd be fun!

8:17pm Padraic
what is the link... I don't do the wearing of skirts

8:18pm Amanda
did you get the invite?
you can wear a dress, too
haha

8:22pm Padraic
oh.. it just sounds a bit to happy happy for me right now. there is nothing worse than a queen crying dressed up in womens' clothes

8:22pm Amanda
oh dear
i'm pretty unhappy too
my plan is to fill up as much time with other people being happy as possible
and then vampire their happiness

8:23pm Padraic
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhhahahahahha

At this point, he called me up so we could laugh our asses off and we ended up with identical status updates.

The thing is that it is mostly working. I'm often a bit sad when I'm out and almost never in the mood to go out in the first place, but usually I have a good time, overall.

So, bring on the men in drag, the running/walking in the freezing weather, the drinking that may follow. I need more happy in my life and so I'm gonna go out and get it - even if I have to drain a few humans along the way.

Yep, I read Twilight recently and was totally drawn into its world. Deal. My students think I am awesome for reading all four books in a week and that was half the point of reading them!

Stunning photographs of landmark captured over six-month period

A series of majestic emerald arcs light up one of Britain's most iconic landmarks in this stunning photograph taken with one of the longest-ever exposures.


Solargraph: Justin Quinnell's photograph of the Clifton Suspension Bridge

The spectacular picture shows each phase of the sun over Bristol's Clifton Suspension Bridge taken over a six month period.

It plots the sun's daily course as it rises and falls over Brunel's famous structure, which spans the 702ft (214m) Avon Gorge.

Incredibly, the eerie image was captured on a basic pin-hole camera made from an empty drinks can with a 0.25mm aperture and a single sheet of photographic paper.

Photographer Justin Quinnell strapped the camera to a telephone pole overlooking the Gorge, where it was left between December 19, 2007 and June 21, 2008 - the winter and summer solstices.

His final photograph, called 'Solargraph', shows six months of the sun's luminescent trails and its subtle change of course caused by the earth's movement in orbit.

The lowest arc shows the first day of exposure on the winter solstice, while the top curves were captured in the middle of summer.

Its dotted lines of light are the result of overcast days when the sun struggled to penetrate the cloud.

Mr Quinnell, a world-renowned pin-hole camera artist, of Falmouth, Cornwall, said the photograph took on a personal resonance after his father passed away on April 13 - halfway through the exposure.

He says the picture allows him to pinpoint the exact location of the sun in the sky at the moment his father passed away.

Obamaify Me

Inaugurate This!!

That was our team name last night and we did indeed win the free beer. I love second place!

Here's Legoland's Inauguration:

Things to Ponder

Why does the small child practicing her speech next to me think that Korean is becoming commonly spoken around the world?

Why does James, my kindie student, think my name is Sam? Also, when did I start answering to Sam?

Why have I not made it to bed by midnight once in a month of 9 a.m. starts?

Why isn't it the weekend yet?

Sooooo Tired

And I have to give a test today. I hate that because there are few things more boring than watching children take tests.

However, the day will improve after that as I'm off to watch Twilight on the US Army base. I hear it's funny.

Fuck You 2009

I'm not loving 2009 and January isn't even over yet!

I'm not working on it

Grace over at What If No One's Watching? came up with a brilliant idea: a list of anti-resolutions. To counter all the bright, shiny goals of January with an acknowledgement that we aren't perfect and we aren't even aiming to be. So, here I am, embracing some of my flaws.

1. I wear glasses and have a lazy eye. I could have surgeries to correct both of these things - and here in Korea, they'd even be cheap. I'm not going to. I think I look good in glasses (contrary to the opinions of most other people). I might eventually get contacts because listening to Martha rave about scubadiving has made me start to think it's something I ought to do. However, my eyes are shite, I sometimes don't look like I'm looking at the people I'm talking to and yet that's the way it's going to stay.

2. I can't budget. I'm not going to even try. I can cut expenses so far and after that it seems to make me miserable. Maybe this is something that I might one day want to explore, but Korea isn't the place for years of therapy.

3. I will invite everyone I know along, all the time. I like people to feel invited and I am a more-the-merrier person. If I am told it drives someone nuts, I can stop for that person. But otherwise, I'm an inviting machine.

4. I only finish what I start about a quarter of the time. My follow through is severely lacking. I am a much better plan-maker than plan-doer. ~ this is Grace's and I'm stealing it because it's so true for me.

5. I am a drama queen. Not because I like drama, but I'm incredibly over-sensitive and put my foot in my mouth more regularly than I should. I'm not sure either of those things can be stopped, which is unfortunate because put together, they are a nightmare.

6. I fall hard when I fall. Regardless of whether or not it is wise.

7. I read or watch TV shows in an obsessive manner until I'm finished them, the way your average smoker takes a drag after a 24 hour flight.

8. If you grew up wealthy, I'm likely to take an unfair automatic dislike to you. ~ Also Grace's.

9. I bite my nails, and my cuticles.

10. I'm incredibly lazy.

11. I feel guilty easily.

12. I quite regularly don't answer my cell phone just because I don't feel like it.

13. I can not have a conversation without repeating myself 8 million times. It's because I often don't feel that I communicate at all well verbally. I just want you to get it, but I realise that it is annoying.

14. I interrupt because I can talk and listen at the same time and I assume that you can too. I'm sorry. It's very ingrained.

15. I am perpetually late. I always underestimate how long it will take me to get out of the house, find a cab, get there. I'm sorry. I can also fill every avaible minute that I have on what appear to be absolutely essential tasks while getting ready, whether I am forced to be ready in 15 minutes or I have several hours. I'm a putterer and I can always fill up the time.

16. I overcommit all my time because I really do want to do everything with everyone.

17. I cry. Easily and fairly often. Slightly more probable if I'm drunk. And I don't cry pretty.

18. I think everything to death. I will drive myself right 'round the bend, one of these days.

19. If you aren't employing me or someone I knew from before 3 years ago, you'll know I'm bi within about five seconds of meeting me. If you don't know what to do with that info, I don't care because I spent 27 years of my life with people all assuming I was straight and now that I've decided to tell people up front that I'm not, I can't seem to stop. Granted, if the world wanted to stop being so heteronormative, it wouldn't be such a problem. How about since I'm not going to work on this one, the rest of you out there do it for me, huh?

20. I don't like talking on the phone the way I don't like going to the gym - it's the anticipation of doing it that is usually the problem. Once I'm on and chattering, I am happy as a pig in shit. However, I tend not to call people because I am a shy, nervous person (yes, in spite of the fact that I am happy to regale people with tales of my sex life and exploding vibrators) and having to call someone up still makes me feel a bit... weird. Antsy.

21. I'm uncoordinated. I can fall over while standing still and sober.

22. I can lose something in about ten seconds because I am incredibly forgetful and put stuff down at random. If the lost thing is my glasses, I will then have to search by patting around with my hands.

No Time For Coffee

These Wednesday morning meetings exist only tenuously in my memory - I forgot to go to the first one entirely and just made it to the last two. It's so much easier to remember that they exist on Mondays...

That's Pope!

As in hilarious.

Nevermind, in joke.

Anyway, now that I have the internet back, I can tell all of you out there that my toenail finally fell off. Underneath there's this really odd skin - kinda like heel, but bumpy and still sort of scabby. Hawt.

I fear for humanity come summer because I will be wearing flipflops, regardless of the state of my unpedicured toes.

Dancing Condoms!

While I can easily come up with a situation where my friend Nirodh might not prove to be ever useful, I must say the dancing condoms are hilarious!



Thanks to Braja for the link!

*** On a side note, my free internet is mysteriously working again! Assa!!!

Pilgrimage

I've done a fair amount of travelling so far in my life, though nowhere near enough to satisfy me. My goal is to live and work on all the continent except Antarctica, which I fully intend to visit. I've covered three so far, though I've yet to even make any solid plans to get me through the remaining three.

Of all my travels, there was one that was akin to a pilgrimage and that was my trip across Canada. In high school and university, all I was focused on was getting the hell out of Bolton, preferably leaving North America all together. In my second year of university, I applied to an archaeological dig in England and for the exchange program through Queen's. Since there are about 3~4 applications per spot, I never imagined I'd get in. The dig was something I really wanted to do, but it was also my back-up plan, the plan that ensured I finally flew somewhere exciting. I had just sent off my money for the dig when I heard I had an interview for the exchange program - one that I never ended up attending, as I was high enough on the list that they cut sufficient applicants before even interviewing me. A huge part of me is still in awe of my luck.

As exciting as that first trip was, and it included six weeks of backpacking around Europe, it didn't really top the cross Canada trip. It was 2003 by the time I got the chance to see my own country and by then I had been living in Scotland, and hence travelling the UK, Ireland, andItaly, for two years. I moved back to Toronto to temp lazily while waiting for my travel partners, Jenni and Alan, to make some money and join me.

I can't quite say what it was exactly about that trip that made it so special. Part of it was that I was travelling with two of my best friends. Part of it was the train - I really enjoy train trips. But mostly, it was just Canada - the North, the Rockies, the Prairies. For the first time I was starting to understand the Canadian imagery and symbolism that I grew up absorbing.

We took the train to Winnipeg first, stopping only to change to another line. The trip up to Churchill, my first time to a place considered actual Arctic (it isn't that far north, but Hudson's Bay alters the climate in such a way that it is arctic). Seeing polar bears in the wild. Seeing the Northern Lights - I'd seen them before, where I grew up, but they were considerably more spectacular. The cold. The forests slowly giving way to a flat expanse of ice and snow.

After spending only a day in Churchill, sadly all we could afford, we headed to Winnipeg and spent five days there. That may well have been four days too many, considering that it was November. I now really understand Winnipeg weather reports, right down to my bones. We had anticipated sleeping through the prairies, but a huge train delay meant that we got to see them slowly pass by from the bubble car on the train. Grain elevators and so much sky! Edmonton was a much more interesting place than I had anticipated, though I wasn't overly impressed by the mall.

And then, the Rockies. Seeing them for the first time was incredible and Jasper was by far my favourite part of the trip. Granted, I'll never be able to forget the stupidity of thinking I was going to see those green waters of Lake Louise, but I did get to see a classic mountains-reflected-in-a-lake scene, so I was happy. We also saw a lot of wild life - though those deer are pretty tame!

We ended up in Vancouver and settled there in late November until August. I didn't love living in Vancouver, but I am incredibly glad I had the chance to do it. It is a beautiful city in the spring and summer - Toronto really has nothing on it there. I did miss the opportunity to do lots of cultural things without spending a small fortune - I'd been spoiled by Toronto and Edinburgh and it just wasn't my kind of city, in a way I can't really articulate. However, it was an important year for me, one in which I made the decision to come to Korea for the first time and that's a decision that has had the most impact on my life since the day I decided I was returning to Scotland after finishing my degree.

I am vaguely planning some more trips that might feel a bit like a pilgrimage - in particular, seeing Russia. Both of my parents studied Russia, history and literature, so it's one country I have always wanted to go to. Returning to university would certainly fit the bill. I'd also love to make it home for a holiday - at this point any holiday would do, but Christmas next year seems the most likely. We'll just have to see how the next year plays out, I guess. As always with my life, your guess is as good as mine!

The adventure began in Toronto.
The train ride through Ontario and Manitoba.
Polar bears in Churchill.
Winnnipeg and the Praries
Edmonton was fun.
The Rockies Rock
The trip ends in Vancouver.

Pics of the trip.

Internet & Weekends

My free internet is kaput. When I moved into my place, there was a black box. When I couldn't pick up a wireless signal, I plugged my laptop in on a lark, not thinking it would actually work. And for almost six months it did - which means that I am almost halfway through my contract! How the hell did that happen?

Right, let's get caught up on the last two weekends (I'm at work right now, after I could have gone home, to use the internet for free. I'm too broke to have to be paying!) So, last weekend was... rough. It wasn't a bad weekend, but I spent a lot of time feeling pretty depressed. I did manage to force myself to at least get out and be around people, which I think is the better call for me. I wallow too much if I'm just on my own. This past weekend wasn't without its moments of sadness, but it might have been a bit better.



Last weekend, after a Friday night at home, I spent Saturday at the Seoul International Photography Festival. It was very interesting and at least half the fun is getting to go inside Old Seoul Station. That was one ornate train station, back in the day. These days it's an odd mix of lovely and falling down and the photography folks managed to stick a photo in every available space. The first exhibit, a series of pictures of people standing with their backs to the camera, was about the experience of depression and was accompanied by essays explaining the subjects' experiences with depression. While the photos were not particularly interesting in and of themselves, I thought the idea was interesting. I took some photos of the photos and the station.

That evening, I decided to go out hardcore, with the idea that it would cheer me up. It started as the drinking of some red wine with Annie and Melissa, but as soon as Rebecca and Brian texted that they were at Bungalow, that was the beginning of it being an early night. We ended up in Soho, dancing until dawn, though I must admit that we don't look like we would have been too coordinated by the end, considering the hilarity of the pictures. Sarah Jane and I had some sort of bet to do with flowers, though I don't recall the details and I seem to be in more than a few pics with people I don't even know. Melissa crashed at my place, seeing as she lives far away and we were both going to the book club meeting the next day at noon. And I did set my alarm.

But I didn't actually turn it on. Thus, I woke up at 11:30 and freaked, as I live at least a half hour by cab from the restaurant we were meeting at. The first thought in my head, however, was: "Oh, god. I was drunk interneting last night." While I turned on my computer to see what I had done, exactly, I opened my phone to text that Melissa and I were going to be a bit late, only to find a text from the architect saying he was looking forward to dinner tonight then... A dinner I have no recollection of agreeing to go to. I should have checked those five saved texts before I sent some, but let's be honest - my brian wasn't exactly firing all cylinders at this point. So, I checked Facebook, we got washed and hopped in a cab.



Sadly, I didn't think to look up the directions to Butterfingers and I called Alicia who told me to turn at the Bath & Body Works. Korea doesn't even have that store, however, I was overtired and if it was in Korea, it would probably be in Gangnam. After walking four blocks too far, I finally got ahold of Alicia again and we retraced our steps, in order to eat the best pancakes I have had so far in Seoul. Delicious. We discussed the book After Dark by Murakami, but so far we are a hilarious inept group at running a book club. Brian read the wrong book, though the word dark was in the title. Martha didn't even read the book, though she owned it, which was how it got picked. The disussion didn't last long, but it was fun. Padraic commented that the lack of ending is related to the fact that the book starts out commenting that cities never stop growing and changing. I didn't mind the book myself, though it wasn't generally well liked. My major complaint was that unlike the two novels by Murakami that I really liked (Kafka on the Shore and The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle), the fantasy element of After Dark didn't seem to meld in with the reality and as such those chapters felt a bit disjointed. It's a quick, easy read though, and not really that bad.

After brunch, we headed to the nearby bookstore, to pick the next novel. Since Padraic and Melissa are fantasy readers looking to branch out, Alicia and I were told that we had the "honour" of picking the next book. I find selecting books for other people difficult, as I'm pretty sure I am a more picky reader than most. However, since of all the choices I was considering only The Road by Cormac McCarthy was a mass market paperback and it seems to me that the prices for trade paperbacks have gone up a lot recently. Martha also owns that one and Alicia thought it was in the library at Poly, thus saving some of us even more money.



On our way to the subway, Padraic and I couldn't resist going in and smelling the Lush. For anyone who loves Lush, that smell is irresistable. Then we noticed that there were two sinks, so that you could sample the soap, so naturally we had to put on a show, complete with photos (which sadly, Melissa hasn't uploaded yet...). Naturally, if you allow yourself to spend that long in Lush, you are going to end up dropping some cash - even though I recently got the most amazingly delicious smelling soaps from my brother and his family and some other stuff from my mom, I ended up buying some face wash that Padraic recommended. Then Alicia wanted to pop into the Body Shop to buy some shampoo and that lead to a purchase of some discounted eye shadow. Thank god we finally hit the subway after that. However, the lovely little moments of the day weren't over yet because as we walked down the stairs, I saw a familiar sign...



Finding poutine in Korea is no small feat, so in spite of the fact that I had plans for dinner at Zelen's in only a couple of hours, I bought some and then attempted to eat it while on an incredibly crowded subway. And not just any subway - the Circle line in Seoul. Not well played, but delicious. Upon arriving in Itaewon, we headed to Wolfhound to ensure a table for trivia. I had a beer and then wandered off for dinner with the architect at Zelen's. You know you are conversing with an interesting person when the question, "What did you do for the holidays?" elicits the response, "I went to the States, went hunting, and was arrested..." After a few moments of pondering what you might be able to be arrested for but be released and back in Korea within a couple of weeks, he told me that it was for public drunkenness, which I found kinda funny. Since here in Korea we can not only be drunk and stupid in the streets, we can even drink in the streets (and on subways and busses and in parks and...) it doesn't seem a stretch that someone might go home and have their normal behaviour here cause them some trouble at home. In fact, now that I've started telling the story, quite a few people have some of their own. After dinner, I went back for the quiz and by then Alex, Martha, Annie and Ceedra had shown up. We just missed the second place pitcher.

We were luckier on Wednesday at Phillie's - a handy second place win kept us out of the obligation to host the next quiz, but we got our free beer. The rest of last week, I mostly read. I started Twilight last Tuesday and I'm already 75 pages into the last book of the series. They aren't genius, but I find them to be engaging, quick reads. Can't say I didn't giggle quite a lot at the idea of vampires who sparkle in the light, though.

This past weekend, I spent Friday night at home once again. Last weekend seriously depleted my funds, and I'll have to be a bit more frugal until payday at the end of the month. Friday was also when I realised that my free internet wasn't working - sad, because I also don't have a TV, so I use the computer often! Saturday Annie had a junk swap. I didn't have much to get rid of, since I did a lot of purging when I moved to Haebangchan. Wanna guess what I picked up more of? C'mon, guess... Books of course! Granted, I need more books like I need a hole in the head, but I will have more reading time until I get paid and can get online again.

That night we played Settlers of Kataan at Liz and Lizzie's before heading out to Soho to dance once again. When Soho cleared, we hit up Queen. Good fun. Then I had brunch at Indigo with Antaeus the next morning and napped, in between chapters of Eclipse. I set my alarm to ensure I had time to get ready before going to meet Alex, Martha and Melissa for dinner. We went to a new restaurant called Macaroni Market, which in spite of its name is quite posh. We chose to eat in the restaurant part, rather than the cafeteria, which may have been a mistake, because my gorgonzola salad and pasta with truffles in cream sauce cost me $50. Remember what I said about needing to budget until the end of January? That's going well, as you can see! The service was really slow, so we had to haul ass to get to trivia on time. Apparently we shouldn't have hurried because we came last!!! I have never come last before ever! Ach, well, it was a fun night and as the trivia ended, Tritian, his new boyfriend and a bunch of people in 80's gear and neon wigs showed up, so I stayed around for a bit.

So, those were my last two weekends. They were fairly busy, which is good, I think, and I had some fun. I'm still feeling quite depressed, but I'm happy that for now, I seem to be able to drag myself out. There might be some moments when I'm out that I'm very much not having fun, but overall, I think I'm holding ground right now. This is the last full week of 9 a.m. starts and then I only work two days next week, the thought of which should get me through the next four days, even without the joy of mindless TV and internet every night. I don't have many plans for the four-day weekend yet, though I have committed to do my first hash - it's referred to as a drinking club with a running problem, though I will be walking this time. Perhaps once I join the gym in February (I swear to god I will both join and go), I could work my way up to actual running. I'm slightly confused to what this hashing deal is all about ("Well, we'll walk for a bit and then stop and sing a song. Then we drink a bunch. Then some more walking."), but I did stick it on my 101 in 1001 list at Shawn's suggestion and since this one will feature men in drag, it seems like a good call. Hope it isn't too cold.

Right, I'm off. If I was a frugal person, I'd take the subway, but I'm tired and hungry, so I know I will be giving into the temptation to just hop in a cab in a couple of minutes...

I leave you with a wicked video:

Light & Water

Rune Guneriussen

You Gotta Laugh

One of my kindergarten students told me quite sincerely that I looked beautiful today.

My hair was in a ponytail because it was all nasty and greasy and I hadn't been able to force myself out of bed to wash it before work.

And yet, this always happens to me. Why is it that I seem to look better to other people with nasty, greasy hair? I certainly don't to me.

Blarg

I did not have a restful night. Eating spicy wings at midnight was a strategic mistake - heartburn. Nasty. So, I interneted a bit last night and read one chapter of Twilight before going to bed, partly because I couldn't resist and partly because it wouldn't have me in bed much later than usual.

Unfortunately, I awoke abruptly at 4:30, completly confused. It turns out if you tape a poster to my wall, it won't stay up there forever. Whether the tape ripping off was noisy or just being hit in the face by an airborne poster was what woke me, it sure was startling.

Then when my alarm went off, I mentally refused to get up for at least three rounds with the snooze button. I really do not understand how this week is going by so... damn... slowly...

How is it not Friday already???

Two more classes. One is my favourite class and the other is my least favourite. I can't wait to get home, hop under the covers, and finish off Twilight. It's a ridiculously fast read, but then, it was written for teenagers.

Does it seem to anyone else that Bella is going to have to become a vampire herself in the end? Or does that not happen, leaving us all with a sense of frustration after all that foreplay? For a Mormon, the author certainly is plenty suggestive.

Speaking of which, I think Big Love finally starts up again this weekend. I have a serious hard-on for Mormons. I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate the sentiment!

Woot!

We came second place tonight, winning ourselves a pitcher of beer. I have also eaten fabulous food - Indian curry on lunch break, panang curry from Buddha's Belly at dinner, and then chicken wings at Jacoby's at midnight, just cause.

It's freaking cold out lately, but the fantastic thing about floor heating is that if you leave your pjs on the floor while you are out, they are all cozy and warm when you climb into them after the long, cold walk home.

Liz and Lizzy took a taxi the ten minutes down the road to the restaurant tonight. I'd mock them, but don't think I didn't consider it!

Who Knew?

Due to a Facebook status update, I was moved to google microwave jawbreaker. What I discovered is that there are a whole lot of people out there who spend their spare time microwaving things and videoing it.

Weird.

I'm Not Sure Why This is So Damn Funny

Off Early!

Yay! I got off at just after 4 p.m. today because my one-on-one class was cancelled. Matthew has pneumonia, poor little poppet. I was actually quite sad to hear the news - he's a smart, funny, cheerful little kid. Not that I'd wish pneumonia on even my worst students, though I'm not above hoping for a light cold or a mildly itchy rash for some of them.

I decided to celebrate my unexpectedly early day by... washing my dishes. Woot!

Am I not terribly exciting?

Not Quite What I Mean to Inspire

After last time's pie eating during the discussion class on health, I figured I couldn't sink any lower. I was wrong.

Today's discussion was about role models. One of the debate topics was whether or not everyone needed a role model. Since Ashley had just commented that her only goals in life were to watch a lot of TV and play, I made the mistake of pointing out that there isn't a role model for that.

Joel looked quite serious when he said, "But, teacher, you are that role model. Most days you can sleep until noon and then watch TV while you drink coffee."

So, they've learned something from me, anyway.

zzzz

Making coffee entirely with your eyes closed may not be the kind of skill you can put on your resume, but it still comes in damn handy.

Inspiration

Cute Things Falling Asleep

Manly Role Models

A friend sent me a goofy email. I did the math and got the silly answer and then noted that there wasn't a single female name on the list of role models, except for my friend's. Disturbing.

WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL???


Try it without looking at answers

1) Pick your Favourite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number….

5) Add those digits together.

Now Scroll down ..............

Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below :

1. Einstein


2. Nelson Mandela


3. Jacob Zuma


4. Tom Cruise


5. Bill Gates


6. Gandhi


7. Brad Pitt


8. Hitler


9. My female friend


10. Barack Obama

Seriously, Mr. Canned Salmon?

It occurred to me when I opened a tin of salmon yesterday that I have obviously only ever had canned tuna up until this point, because I was somewhat startled by what might have been a salmon spinal cord or something equally disturbing. I had no idea that my parents had been removing all those bones from my salmon sandwiches - and I'm pretty damn picky about weird crunch in sandwiches. I won't even buy egg salad sandwiches from shops because I once ate one that had a bit of shell in it.

The canned salmon was a gift from Samarra, for whom it was a gift from home. I secretly suspect that she didn't ever eat it because she didn't own a can opener - after all, that's why I didn't eat it for about 8 months after she gave it to me. I was pondering last night, as I obsessively removed bones, just why it is that some countries have cans with openers on the top of them and some don't. Is there a logic to that?

It was a boring evening at home - I made dinner (Liz's turkey soup was good, for all her protests to the contrary about it being bland) and did some laundry. Watched a bit of CSI (I'm just now half paying attention to the last episode of last season, so I'm pretty much caught up), Interneted a bit, and finished off a book. Now I've moved on to Twilight - for once, I'm jumping into a trend relatively early (it took me years on end to watch Buffy and I waited for quite awhile before embracing Harry Potter as well.)

My last class was obnoxious today. The kids bitched about not getting a totally discretionary break - somehow, they can't wrap their little minds around the connection between them acting like punks and me not being overly nice in return.

Our Trivia Locale of Choice - And I Made it In the Pics

Wolfhound.

Soon?

I was slung-lo and
So gung-ho
For anything to get me to start
I had my rock
I had my roll
But I couldn't find my spark

A flip of the hi-fi
A glimpse of the good life
And the clouds began to fade
I'm turning this B-side
Around to a de-light
Blue skies are here to stay

"She was so down, look at her now
She's never been so high!
Everyone knows, give it some time
The clouds'll clear the sky!"

Light the radio
Til it explodes
I'm dancin' til I drop
One small step
First right then left
I'm never gonna stop

"She was so down, look at her now
She's dancin' til she drops!
Everyone knows, give it some time
You'll find what you have lost!"

It is my style to take awhile
To put the feeling down to page
I get around to making sound
When the fancy meets the phrase!

"She was so down, look at her now
She's never been so high!
Everyone knows, give it some time
The clouds'll clear the sky!"

I'm gonna burst
Right out of this world
And I won't do it alone
A kick to the heart
A lift for the charts
One listen and we'll be gone
And then who cares?
We're debonair
And we're dancin' our way back home

"She was so down, look at her now
She's never been so high!
Everyone knows, give it some time
The clouds'll clear the sky!"

Organic

8. of or pertaining to the basic constitution or structure of a thing; constitutional; structural.

That is how I feel about my bouts of sadness. They are, unfortunately, part of my structure. The only bonus to this knowledge is that last time round I finally forced myself to examine drug options and they work. I don't like the idea of them as anything beyond a solution in a pinch, because they dull everything when they dull the sad parts. However, it's a reassuring thought.

In the meantime, it remains to do my best to pull myself out of this. It sucks to have some defective brain chemistry, but that is what it is. At least I'm presently living a life that I am generally happy and content with, which is a distinctly better place that I was in last time, when I basically hated everything about myself and my life - some of that was the depression talking, but some of it really was a series of choices that took me too far away from myself and who I wanted to be.

I'm setting my alarm for tomorrow now. I have plans that I really want myself to actually follow through on. I hope I go. However, now that I am home and in bed, with no mandatory tasks to be done tomorrow, I want to hide under my blankets and sleep. Except that I can't sleep, and that's one of my main problems right now - which is odd, as usually the sadder I am, the more I can sleep like it's an Olympic event I'm competing in and I'm going for the gold.

I should go, but on top of the incredible inertia that hits every time I walk through the door of my house, I feel incredibly unsocial. I can't imagine I'll be any fun. I know though that once I am there, it'll mostly be ok. I forced myself out on Wednesday and only felt like crying a couple of times - lately for me that is a good run of something approaching normal. I need to get some sleep, read the book club novel so as not to have a convenient excuse not to do that on Sunday, and then go out tomorrow.

I wonder how many times I have to tell myself to do it, before it feels like something I am actually going to do?

As Always, I Find Things Years Later

The Burqa Band (or the Blue Burqa Band) is an all-female indie rock band from Kabul, Afghanistan. They performed anonymously, all of the members wearing burqas in an apparent protest against the Taliban's rules regarding Islamic dress. They released a single, "Burqa Blue" and a self-titled album in 2002. The group gained some popularity in Europe in the 2000s, and toured in Germany, where a song of theirs was remixed by DJ Barbara Morgenstern. A YouTube video of a performance of theirs has circulated widely.

For fantastic photos and commentary on Afghanistan today, go read J.L. Krueger's blog.

For richer or poorer

When you work overseas, you become richer or poorer every time the exchange rate moves. In Scotland, I was making almost 2.5 times as much as I could have in Canada - though when I was a student and exchanging my student loans, I also had 2.5 times less. And it really was less or more by that amount, because things in Scotland often cost the same numerical amount as those in Canada, just with a pound sign in front, rather than a dollar.

Here in Korea, my first three contracts were golden. Because the American dollar was on par with the won, it was easy to just drop three zeros to make the exchange in your head - thus, if I was sending a million won back home it was like a thousand dollars. Except, of course, to the Canadian dollar it wasn't, leading to the lovely feeling of being given several hundred dollars of "free" money every time I sent money home. Brilliant, right?

Now, not so brilliant. I still love my job and I am still so much better off than many back home in the middle of the present recession or depression or whatever it is that we seem to be in. My job looks pretty stable - certainly there are starting to be rumours of lowering enrollment as belts tighten amongst workers, but there has also been increasing demand for teachers here. They've even started to lower the standards for teaching in public schools to allow people with only two years of university to teach. So, it looks ok, stability wise.

Also, for all that I'm making a couple of hundred less a month and prices have gone up here (as of last winter I was seeing things go up between fifty cents to a dollar for food in restaurants), I do live in a country that has an extremely low cost of living. If I had to, I could live here on $500 a month - maybe even less, actually, if I had to. I can't imagine another situation where I could live off less than a fourth of my income, allowing me to pay down debt and still do some travelling. At present, I send half home and spend half. It's not the most financially agressive strategy, but it is one that makes me happy.

I'm horrible with budgeting and in the past, the lack of ability to make payments on my student loans easily and cover my rent (which comes straight out of my pay before I get it, convienently) without stress led to a very unhappy time in my life. Here in Korea, none of those things are worries.

It may sort of be for poorer right now, but I'm very lucky. I need to remind myself of that more often.

I Am Sean Bell

I AM SEAN BELL, black boys speak from Stacey Muhammad on Vimeo.

I'm Going to Drink It Anyway

My milk is likely sour, but I wanted hot chocolate and so I had it. I'll be putting it in my coffee tomorrow too and I'm fairly confident I'll survive the experience. The best before date was December 30th, but I tend to just ignore those, as you can see.

So, it's perhaps become increasingly obvious that I'm sad. Quite sad, actually. I've certainly gone through similar periods in the past - the last one back when 2005 turned into 2006 - but in the past I have tended to stop blogging during them. After all, can't be much fun to read about me being less than perky. Way back when, my shtick was that I made my life into a series of humorous anecdotes, so when I was feeling sad there wasn't anything to say. Now I blog far more for myself than any audience that may be out there - it doesn't even need a purpose, I just blog because that has become something that I do.

So, I'm sad. It's been a rough holiday period on a number of counts and I have slowly found myself with little energy to deal with the sad. I keep trying to do the things I know are good for becoming less sad - I arrange social events and try and sit in the sun on lunch break and treat myself to good Indian food and all of those little things that are supposed to keep the sad at bay. It's working, though not as well as I'd like. All those social events are things I come to dread the moment I commit myself to them - already I am wondering if I could just skip out on both of the things I have planned for the weekend, for all that I was fairly instrumental in setting them up.

I've always been a person prone to sadness. Back in high school I used to sit around in my bedroom listening to the saddest music I could find, just so that I could sob while listening to it. As I have gotten older, I have found that the sad periods have decreased in length, intensity and recurrence, but they always seem to just be there, waiting for me. Oddly these days I feel the warring pulls of surrounding myself with tons of people (though I feel no less lonely) and hiding under my covers.

Reaching out when I am sad is something I find difficult to do. First off, I simultaneously don't want to talk about why I am sad and find myself unable to avoid doing so, because it's all I think about. I occasionally want to tell people I'm sad, but I don't really want my image as a tough person who makes a joke out of every difficult situation to suffer either.

Naturally, the lack of sleeping isn't helping. Again, this is something I can trace all the way back to my teen years. My father was partially right - it's a pattern and you can change it. However, I am quite a night owl by nature, so it's not an easy thing to change. Beyond which, the problem isn't that I don't get in my bed and turn off the lights, the problem is that sleep doesn't follow. Spending my days struggling to keep my eyes open isn't really helping anything.

Anyway, there it is. I'm sad and I'm off to try and fall asleep now.

Pick 12 books - one for each month of 2008

I am an idiot. How did I fail to notice that this challenge was for 2008 and was ending in a month? However, I'm also a stubborn idiot and I tried to complete it - though I tried to read the shortest books first! I got through 8 and a half, which isn't too bad, I guess, considering that I was fairly social over the holidays.

1. Practical Demonkeeping, Christopher Moore - Hilarious! I have no idea where he thinks this stuff up, but it is comic genius.
2. Borderlines, Peter Hoeg - I'm not sure what to say about it - it was an enjoyable read, but I didn't love it.
3. Another Roadside Attraction, Tom Robbins - It took me at least 200 pages to get into it, though I did enjoy the end. Interesting, but not as enjoyable as I had hoped.
4. Tokyo Cancelled, Rana Dasgupta - It was interesting but somehow didn't draw me in.
5. The Hungry Tide, Amitav Ghosh
6. The Optimists, Andrew Miller - Finished after the deadline. I wouldn't say I loved the Optimists, but I found it interesting. It's an oddly visual novel, as the protagonist is a photographer and his sister writes about painters, many of the names I looked up. There are quite a few references to Greek mythology as well, which I must admit to liking in a novel. Many of the settings were incredibly familiar - I've taken that train ride between London and Edinburgh, through Berwick. I've been to Dundee and down the Arbroath Road. The descriptions of Toronto - Chinatown, Union Station, Yorkdale - call up lots of memories. Plus I googled to figure out what the hell a fish kettle is. It's worth a read.
7. Plainsong, Kent Haruf - The writing is simple and yet so beautiful. It was such an engrossing story that I finished it in well under a day. I loved it.
8. Naked, David Sedaris - I always think I'm not as big a Sedaris fan as I find myself to be once I dive into one of his books. There were just too many hilarious bits to mention, though the breast-feeding camels line has gotten permanently lodged in my brain.
9. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, Carson McCullers
10. What is the What, Dave Eggers
11. The Book of Illusions, Paul Auster
12. Fox Girl, Nora Okia Keller - While I was a little disappointed with Comfort Woman, I loved Fox Girl. It was a fascinating look at Korea and the GIs after the Korean War. It certainly sheds some light on the present situation.
Alt.The New Kings of Nonfiction, edited by Ira Glass-A few of the articles I had come across before, but they were all really enjoyable, even the description of a poker competition that I didn't even really understand. The one on Saddam Hussein was interesting considering events since. My favourite might have been the portrayal of the ten year old.
Alt.Life of Pi, Yann Martel - Fantastic book!
Alt.The Poe Shadow, Matthew Pearl
Alt.Thirteen Moons, Charles Frazier

"Chazu said that stuff [cola] rots your teeth. Be healthy, drink beer." ~ Fox Girl

"He liked the sense of momentum that he got from carrying out his purposes against so many different backgrounds." ~ Tokyo Cancelled

"Time inside an aeroplane always seemed to be staged by the airline company to deceive, its studied slowness a kind of tranquillizer for the seat-belted cattle in their eight-hour suspension, to which passport control and baggage claim would be the only antidote. Synthesized versions of 'Yesterday' and 'Candle in the Wind' reminded passengers of old, familiar feelings but with the human voice removed, emotions loaded with blanks for a safer, more pleasant ride. Mealtimes were announced in advance: the rhythms of earth were felt to continue uninterrupted here in this airborne tube so that the indignation at chicken when lamb had run out was far more consequential than 'Isn't it only two hours since breakfast?' High-alcohol wind, parsimonious lighting and channel upon channel of Julia Roberts anesthesia completed the gently high-altitude lullaby" ~ Tokyo Cancelled

"What is the function of the artist?" Amanda demanded of the talented trespasser. "The function of the artist," the Navajo answered, "is to provide what life does not." ~ Another Roadside Attraction

"There is no such thing as a weird human being. It's just that some people require more understanding than others." ~ Another Roadside Attraction

"Jesus: Hey, Dad.
God: Yes, son?
Jesus: Western civilization followed me home this morning. Can I keep it?
God: Certainly not, boy. And put it down this minute. You don't know where it's been." ~ Another Roadside Attraction

"The day was rumpled and dreary. It looked like Edgar Allan Poe's pajamas." ~ Another Roadside Attraction

"The old, Rooseveltian logic of the Doctrine had been that since the airwaves belonged to everyone, a license to profit from those airwaves conferred on the broadcast industry some special obligation to serve the public interest. Commercial radio broadcasting was not, in other words, originally conceived as just another for-profit industry; it was supposed to meet a higher standard of social responsibility." Host, David Foster Wallace, The New Kings of Nonfiction

"It's almost impossible to look away [from OJ's murder-anniversary interview], or not to feel that special kind of guilty excitement in the worst, most greedy and indecent parts of yourself... But that doesn't mean the fascination is good, or even feels good. Aren't there parts of ourselves that are just better left unfed?" Host, David Foster Wallace, The New Kings of Nonfiction

"He orchestrated a Draconian nationwide literacy project. Reading programs were set up in every city and village, and failure to attend was punishable by three years in jail. Men, women, and children attended these compulsory classes, and hundreds of thousands of illiterate Iraqis learned to read. UNESCO gave Saddam an award." Tales of the Tyrant, Mark Bowden, The New Kings of Nonfiction

"In any orthodox history you can find the standard autopsy of the causes... All of this is true enough, yet there's something faintly bogus and overly rationalized about it. The approaching war didn't seem like a political or economic event; it was more like a collective anxiety attack. Throughout the '30s people around the world came to share an unshakable dead about the future, a conviction that countless grave international crises were escalating out of control, a panicked sen that everything was coming unhinged and that they could do nothing to stop it." Losing the War, Lee Sandlin, The New Kings of Nonfiction

"Yes, I have experience in sales, but it is limited to marijuana, a product that sells itself." Naked, David Sedaris

New Normal

It was another four cups of coffee day.

My eyes were threatening to shut all through my last class.

Now that I'm off work, I could probably stay up all night rockin' it out.

My body needs a talking to!

2009 - The Year of Health?

Back around about Christmas, my friend Liz dubbed 2009 the Year of Health. She wants to quit smoking and get fit, as she feels at now that she is in her 30s, it's now or never. Considering my recent ill health, it seemed a good idea to jump on the health bandwagon.

Unfortunately, I can't jump high enough yet! I have some obvious health goals on the 101 in 1001 list - exercise, more attentive eating, sleep, and the like. So far, I can't pretend I've made any strides - though I have largely given up drinking. Only to replace it with a bit more social smoking that I used to do. Ooops.

Today I had to teach a discussion class around the topic of good health. I was eating leftover pie for breakfast because I don't have anything else that is portable and there is no time for breakfast in my morning schedule right now. Hilarious. Though I did bring lunch today and it's much better and I even bought a bunch of V8 yesterday. I also have plans to join Shawn's gym, just as soon I as I no longer have to be at work by 9 a.m., which I continue to find basically torture. I am a night owl and no matter how hard I try, I seem to get to bed around 2 a.m. and as such am just about the sleepiest person alive. Except in the evenings, naturally, when I feel like I could stay awake all night.

I was all grown up and responsible last night. Went grocery shopping, cooked an actual meal, did my dishes, washed my laundry and did a quick tidy.

Granted, then I watched three episodes of CSI while Facebooking.

You Know You've Made It When

You are in a trivia team name!

Can You Imagine...

... a complaints choir of ESL Teachers in Korea? The lyrics would be hysterical. Someone who can sing should make one!

The Internets Are Weird

The first girl I ever had a crush on, all the way back in high school, is celebrating her birthday today and due to the oddness of Facebook, I know this even though I haven't seen or even thought of her in ten years.

Weirdness.

Hrump

Only two of my students noticed I got my hair cut over the weekend.

Though, to be fair, it's just my old hair with actual style. But still.

I am totally exhausted, but also somewhat excited to make plans and try to be all dynamic and shit during the hell that is January.

Awesomeness

Draining

December is often spoken of as a draining month - the holidays, the stress, the pressure to have a perfect New Year's or an exceptional Christmas, the emotions if you are far away from home, the extra errands, the increased expense.

My December was draining. Not all of the emotions were bad, by far, but they were all very intense. In particular, it has been such an intense couple of weeks. Regardless of all the fun, I'm tired out.

January I find as draining. Each year, at least a part of me wants to hibernate from here on in until the weather gets warmer. I want to recoup my energy after the holidays and try and stay rested and happy during the dreaded Intensives. I know, it's so whiny to complain about having to work less than 8 hours a day, but I have to start my day at 9 a.m.! I have to commute during commuting hours! I don't like it at all.

In particular, there's been some high drama in my life lately - if you know me, that's no real surprise. I have for sure been as much a participant in the dramas as everyone else involved, but I really feel a need to dial it down for now, as much of it as I can. I'm a bit too tired to deal just now.

That said, I also find that January really does make me want to get out there and become a better me. I've made resolutions and I am all gung-ho to join a gym and do more cultural things and take more photos and be more creative and read more books and eat more vegetables and expand my social circle and, and, and!

So, basically this post is to say that either I want to be a slug in January or I want to do about 8 million things all at once.

Yep. That's January for ya.

Paul Klee, The Yellow House, 1914

Fabulous Women

Sarah Haskins on Target: Women is hilarious. I laughed until I cried. The birth control one might be my favourite, but it's hard to choose.





Granny Peace Brigade

Droidel, Droidel, Droidel

Month 2 Down, Many More to Go

Progress Made
2. Read 101 books. (12/101) Life of Pi, Tokyo Cancelled, Fox Girl, Borderliners, Plainsong, Another Roadside Attraction, Naked, Practical Demonkeeping
3. Read 50 children's books. (0/50) Joey Pigza Swallowed the Key
Reading
5. Spend 30 days reading out of the house for at least one hour. (1/30)
12. Complete a month of posts each year (NaBloPoMo or other month.) (2/3)
14. Send 60 handwritten letters or postcards. (5/60)
16. Send Christmas cards. (1/2)
22. Stop saying THAT word (the one Martha doesn't like.)
27. Play 5 board games. (4/5)
35. Take the good camera out once a month. (4/30)
46. Try 10 new foods. (1/10)
57. Eat at 25 new restaurants. (3/25)
68. Go to a sporting event, a play/opera/ballet, a museum, and an art gallery. (1/4)
76. Take the subway to or from work once a week. (9/38)
77. Walk into Itaewon to get coffee at least 15 times. (3/15)
84. Finish all my multivitamins.

Done!
15. Complete Postcrossings.
23. Win at any of the quiz nights.
26. Learn to play a new game (Backgammon, Bridge, etc.)
53. Eat chicken wings in a bar for the first time.
64. Visit a country from the Axis of Evil.
78. Buy a round for the bar.
83. Buy a frickin' toothbrush.
97. Buy a new iPod.
99. Find a charity I believe in and donate/join a protest for a cause I believe in.
101. Wash Martha's dishes.

I'm on a Roll

Well, I made it through December. There were a few posts that I prewrote and set to auto-publish because of the holidays, but I would say that only happened a couple of times. Since I've become fairly accustomed to blogging daily and I enjoy it, even if it isn't always terribly enlightening for you, I might shoot for the 75% in 2009. It's possibly not going to happen - I might have plans to travel starting in September that would likely carry me through to the end of the year. If that's the case, I doubt that I'll manage the 75%, as some of the places on the fantasy itinerary are not the most wired, nor do I plan to do things in those countries that seems Internet friendly - I highly doubt that Mongolian yurts are even on dial-up, after all. However, if my potential travel buddy doesn't decide to do it, I'm tentatively thinking of trying to stay in Korea through to the spring and then doing the trip, as Russia in the late fall/winter is an adventure that seems considerably less fun solo. So, might as well start off on the right foot and see where the year takes me - I've totally given up trying to do any long term planning. My life just doesn't lend itself well to that!

So, January, here I come!

When You Charge Things to Your Canadian Visa in Seoul

You get some interesting vendor names on the bill:

SOOJIS RESTAURANT = Sujji's
MAEKKEITJOOSIKHWESA SEOWOOL = I haven't a clue!
BANGGALRO SEOWOOL = Bungalow, Seoul
NEW PILIZ = New Phillies
SOONCHUNHYANGDAEHAKK SEOWOOL = hospital
OLENZITLI SEOWOOL = ???
WOUF DIRNKING PLA = Wolfhound Pub
SOHO HOF = Soho is not at all a hof.
ROFT RESTAURANT = I'm pretty sure they don't even serve food at this bar.

Granted, all those years in Scotland, anyone back home seeing all my charges to BOOTS may have thought I had developed a shoe fetish, when the reality was I spent a lot on shampoo and condoms.

What I've Been Reading - Online

I love to blog. It amuses me, I like being able to read the posts from years ago and giggle all over again at the silly things that have happened, and frankly, it just gives me something to do. Thus, doing NaBloPoMo was a logical choice. As for the reading of blogs, I came to that considerably more slowly. Because I started my blog intending only to have friends and family read it, it didn't really occur to me for some time to read blogs of complete strangers. In fact, I still generally restrict my blog reading to the blogs of people I have interacted with in some other way first. However, I've slowly been discovering blogs that I find amusing or thought-provoking and since Grace has mentioned on her blog that she enjoys reading as much as the challenge of posting in November, I decided to try that out a bit too. Given the anal way I approach all reading, I started at the beginning of the blog list for the month and worked my way down. I've found a few cool blogs that I will probably start reading regularly and I thought I'd post about them.

My First World Problems - I love the idea of this blog. It also amuses me how my ideas of the author slowly took shape. When I started reading, I assumed the writer was female. Then I read about a girlfriend/fiancee and assumed the blog was written by a lesbian. Suddenly it occured to me that maybe the blogger was a male. By the end when I read the intro post, I finally discovered that the blogger is indeed a woman. It was interesting to go through that cycle of wondering about the author - it brings me back to a conversation with Mr. Ruddy, my highschool history teacher. He once asked if I tended to read/relate to more male authors or female ones. He said he prefered female authors and after some thought, I came to the conclusion that I did too. I'm not sure these days that I read more women, but I still suspect I enjoy female authors more than male ones. I'm now quite curious to see if that guess is correct, so I may pay a bit more attention the genders of the authors I love and hate.

Over the month I also commited myself to try to read and comment on all the newbie NaBloPoMo blogs. One thing that meant is that I was reading a lot of blogs by people I have very little in common with. A lot of the time that was a great experience - even when it wasn't, it was certainly interesting. However, I noticed one thing - it makes me very nervous to comment on the blogs of Christians. After all, some of them might follow the link and read my blog and I am not sure what they are going to think of the blog of a bisexual atheist. I don't want to end up with nasty comments, frankly. Opening myself up to reading Christians isn't a huge problem for me, but somehow the idea of open myself up to them reading me is a concern.

Since I originally wrote this, the First World Problems blog has been deleted.

It's Been A Year, Alright

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

2008 - got divorced for real, barehanded ice fishing, thought I flushed my own keys down the toilet, went paint balling, ate beondegi (yuck!), flew a plane.

2007 - Hahahaha. I've already been asked this one. The Hong Kong incident. Got divorced (I think, anyway!) Taught kindergarten.

2006 - went on holiday with my sister, bought a red bra

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

2008 - the 101 in 1001 List, maybe a couple more

2007- No and Yes. It's not the keeping of the resolutions that is necessarily important, I think, but the making of them. The taking stock.
2006 - I didn't make any last year. I will be making some this year, though. I like thinking about my goals and where I am and where I want to be. I was too depressed to want to think about my life last January.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

2008 - If they did, it's escaping me, but it's also very late at night.

2006 - My childhood friend, Shannon. My brother's girlfriend. A couple of other people I don't know as well.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

2008 - No.

2006 - No.

4. What countries did you visit?

2008 - Boracay, Taiwan, Bamboo/Tea Plantation trip, Canada, Japan, Dokdo, North Korea

2007 - Thailand, Hong Kong, Canada, North Korea, The Philippines.
2006 - Scotland, Canada, Korea, Thailand. Only Thailand was for the first time.

5. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

2008 - This one is going to remain secret, but there is something I'd like.

2007 - More of all the good things, less of all the bad, I guess.
2006 - I don't think there was much that I lacked entirely over the course of the whole year. There were lots of things I lacked during different parts of the year though. I guess I just want more of the good things, more often.

6. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

2008 - January 3rd - finally divorced!
Friday, August 8th - the Ferraro Rocher countdown ended on my last day of work at Poly

2007 - April 10th - I left Heritage, thank fuck!
May 18th - Surprise arrival back in Canada.
August 10th - Back in Korea once more.
December 14th - All my loose ends were finally tied up!

2006 - February 14th, when I finally, really knew that I had to leave Alan. April 10th, when I flew into Seoul.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

2008 - Well, I collected the entire set of Hello Kitty magnets. And found my own place in HBC.

2007 - Tying up those loose ends, perhaps.
2006 - Getting over the embarrassment of leaving someone only 5 months into marriage and doing it anyway because I needed to do it. Rebuilding my entire life all over again, in Korea.

8. What was your biggest failure?

2008 - Also will remain a secret. But it's related to the other one.

2007 - Perhaps being so stressed by the Korea/Hong Kong decision.
2006 - Not listening to my instincts and the warnings of other people.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?

2008 - possibly I discovered I have a malformed eardrum, hairline fracture in my foot after dancing drunk in my apartment, Broken Toe Part I - The Sink, Broken Toe Part II - Martha's Dancing, recent sickness with is no fun, so we won't bother talking about it.

2007 - Nothing terrible. Did a transatlantic flight with a messed up ankle, did some North Korean hiking with pneumonia.
2006 - Yep. Some of the most notable - my first ever hickie and my now completely fucked up ankle. I'm a klutz, though, so there have been a few.

10. What was the best thing you bought?

2008 - new iPod, G-Whiz, North Korean honey

2007 - It wasn't what Oprah recommended ;) I'm not sure I've bought anything all that fabulous this year.
2006 - my laptop. my plane ticket out of Scotland.

11. Whose behavior merited celebration? Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

2008 - Martha has been a rock star in the last couple of months! The pricks at Phillies being homophobic assholes and everyone who voted for Prop. 8 and like-minded resolutions appall me.

2007 - Many people's merited celebration. I find that sometimes the most surprising people will do fantastic things. Based on some info I recently found out, my ex is on the appalled list.
2006 - my friends and family, who have been very supportive of me. appalled: alan's. my own

14. Where did most of your money go?

2008 - You got me! I guess the trip to Canada was the biggie, plus the shopping trip that resulted. The iPod.

2007 - Vacations!!! Clothes. Having fun in general.
2006 - into leaving Scotland.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

2008 - Seeing my nieces. Going to a city in North Korea. Moving to Haebangchon. Teaching teenagers. Leaving Poly.

2007 - Hiking in North Korea. Seeing my nieces.
2006 - being single again, meeting new people, teaching again, knowing that I made the decision to live my life the way I want to, full of travel and adventure.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

2008 - Whatever You Like, T.I. but in particular, that one the kids made about voting however you like. Made me cry.

2006 - The Mercy of the Fallen, Dar Williams

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?

2008- happier
2007 - happier or perhaps about the same
2006 - happier

b) thinner or fatter?
2008 - same same
2007 - maybe about the same - I'm not sure, to be honest.
2006 - fatter, a bit

c) richer or poorer?
2008 - moderately less poor.
2007 - Hmmmm. Again, perhaps about the same.
2006 - maybe about the same

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

2008 - beach holidays, time at home with the family, coffee with Jenn

2007 - Exercise. Travelling. Decisive getting-stuff-done.
2006 - laughed

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

2008 - overreacting, stress with friends over silly things, dealing with Korean immigration, teaching at Poly.

2007 - I'm not sure I regret too much from the past year. Maybe the odd drunken moment, but nothing in particular.
2006 - beating myself up for things I couldn't change and things that weren't exactly my fault

20. How did you spend Christmas?

2008 - Eggs Benedict with Liz and Martha, Geckos with Brian, Cleo, Martha, Melissa, Rebekah, then Seoul Pub, then a taxi with a TV on the ride home!

2007 - Brian, Samarra and I went to see the Golden Compass, wandered around iPark, went to dinner at Geckos and then had drinks with people at Queen. Oh, and I got to talk to my adorable nieces :)
2006 - A turkey buffet at Geckos with friends and coworkers and later on some phone calls home.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

2008 - Yes.

2007 - Hahahahaha. No!
2006 - i thought i did, I'm as subject to rebound relationships as anyone, i guess. didn't last long, which was for the best!

22. How many one-night stands?

2008 - A few. They can be one hell of a lot of fun.

2006 - I don't kiss and tell.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

2008 - Big Love, My So-Called Life, Grey's and Private Practice, Ugly Betty, Brothers and Sisters

2007 - Grey's Anatomy, I think, though I am now equally into Private Practice. I've been watching the first season of Lost recently and been impressed since about halfway through. Flight of the Conchords is hysterical. Oh, and I finally got around to watching Buffy - it was really good.
2006 - America's Next Top Model in Korea, before that Alias/The L Word/Desperate Housewives

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

2008 - This year homophobia has upset me more than usual - but I hate the game, not the players. No point in hating the haters.

2007 - No. I don't hate anyone at all right now, though there are certainly those I don't care for.
2006 - perhaps my boss, though hate is far too strong a word. i can't bring myself to hate my ex, though sometimes I think that might actually be kinda a step forward.

25. What was the best book you read?

2008 - S: A Novel About the Balkans, by Slavenka Drakulic
The Little Friend, Donna Tartt
This is Paradise! My North Korean Childhood by Hyok Kang
Dreams of My Father, Barrak Obama
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Life of Pi, Yann Martel
Maus, Art Spiegleman
Kafka on the Shore, Murakami

2007 - "The Boy Who Loved Anne Frank" by Ellen Feldman. It was maybe the best power read - one of those I-can't-put-it-down novels.
"Eva" by Peter Dickinson was the best children's book and it was a reread from the Poly library.
"Oscar and Lucinda" by Peter Carey for the best I-should-have-known-but-didn't ending.
“The Friar and the Cipher” by Lawrence & Nancy Goldstone for best historical non-fiction.
“Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal” by Christopher Moore was the funniest.
“The Brooklyn Follies” by Paul Auster for introducing me to my newest fav author.
"Lucky" by Alice Sebold for the best sad book.
"A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of A Boy Soldier" by Ishmael Beah for the most gut-wrenching emotional response.
"Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert for personal resonance.

2006 - picking just one is so evil. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Everything is Illuminated, The History of Love and those are just the ones that come to mind...

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

2008 - The Genius button on iTunes.

2007 - Not sure. I love "Smile" by Lily Allen, and the new Alicia Keys album is pretty damn cool. Tons of stuff, really.
2006 - Jack Johnson. I had heard of him before, but never got around to listening until this year when I discovered downloading...

27. What did you want and get? What did you want and not get?

2008 - I'm not sure, but they are both wrapped up in the same thing.

2007 - I didn't get a job I wanted, though I suspect that worked out for the best, particularly from a financial point of view. I wanted a new wardrobe and I got that.
2006- What did you want and get? a computer, a job in Korea, out of a relationship, a trip to Thailand (I even got two!) What did you want and not get? an easy breakup

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

2008 - Juno, Children of Men, Kung Fu Panda were the best, but nothing really moved me.

2007 - The Golden Compass, I think. I don't actually see many films, in the cinema or out of it.
2006 - Everything is Illuminated, Tsotsi, The Constant Gardener, Hotel Rwanda

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

2008 - A longer trip home.

2007 - A year long trip around Asia, with the magic ability to pop back in on the family for a couple of days at will.
2006 - if Alan had stayed in Scotland. if i had left him earlier.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

2008 - 30! I drank shots out of a porcelain penis. Then I skipped out on the big Saturday night extravaganza.

2007 - 29 in Hong Kong, went drinking and dancing.
2006 - I was 28. I went to TinPans and drank too much tequila, I went to Stompers and don't even remember being there, I met a cute boy.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

2008 - Many t-shirts, but I will have to wear something Martha hasn't stolen!

2006 - a concept implies I was thinking about this in some sort of orderly way. The same 7 or so outfits to work (with flip flops in summer and black shoes in winter), the same 7 or so low cut tops to bars, and my fave comfy socks whenever I'm home.

33. What kept you sane?

2008 - Martha and other friends. Pure stubbornness.

2007 - Who says I managed to stay sane? My coworkers, perhaps, when I was back in my old job. My friends. Lots of navel gazing.
2006 - a combination of good friends and too much booze.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

2008 - Hillary Clinton. Jennifer Beals.

2006 - i don't really fancy celebrities.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

2008 - Prop. 8, the Democratic Leadership Race, proroguement

2006 - i have been too busy navel gazing to really pay too much attention. Perhaps the possible nuclear weapons test by North Korea.

36. Who did you miss?

2008 - everybody, but especially Sarah, Emily and Chloe.

2006 - Most people. I live overseas!

37. Who was the best new person you met?

2008 - Martha

2006 - All the new people I've met have mostly been amazing, though in totally different ways.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?

2008 - Be stubborn. Love.

2007 - When travelling, follow the noise.
2006 - No one will judge me as much as I will judge myself. Trust your gut. People you don't expect to will do little things that will make you believe in goodness again.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

2008 - 9 to 5, Lady Sovereign

Ok yo....
I wake up late every morning
managers calling I'm still yawning
Get up wake up hair and makeups
Waiting for you don't be sawing
This performance is important
I don't think I can put my all in
Hold on I was drunk last night
Now its all kicking in and I don't feel right
Gave my number to a breh who wasn't my type
Now my phones on silent I'm being polite
Now private callers get no love from me
Just let me be...

Oh my gosh my days are getting longer
There's no turning back cuz I'm working da 9 to 5
To keep my contract did I say 9 was getting of 1:30
I'm no early birdy I'm lazy dats all dat I can say
So make sure you heard me
And deres no turning back cuz I'm working a 9 to 5

2006 - The Mercy Of The Fallen
Dar Williams

"Oh my fair North Star
I have held to you dearly
I had asked you to steer me
'Til one cloud-scattered night

I got lost in my travels
I met Leo the lion
Met a king and met a giant
With their errant light

There's the wind and the rain
And the mercy of the fallen
Who say they have no claim to know what's right

There's the weak and the strong
And the bets that have no answer
And that's where I may rest my head tonight"