Grace over at What If No One's Watching? came up with a brilliant idea: a list of anti-resolutions. To counter all the bright, shiny goals of January with an acknowledgement that we aren't perfect and we aren't even aiming to be. So, here I am, embracing some of my flaws.
1. I wear glasses and have a lazy eye. I could have surgeries to correct both of these things - and here in Korea, they'd even be cheap. I'm not going to. I think I look good in glasses (contrary to the opinions of most other people). I might eventually get contacts because listening to Martha rave about scubadiving has made me start to think it's something I ought to do. However, my eyes are shite, I sometimes don't look like I'm looking at the people I'm talking to and yet that's the way it's going to stay.
2. I can't budget. I'm not going to even try. I can cut expenses so far and after that it seems to make me miserable. Maybe this is something that I might one day want to explore, but Korea isn't the place for years of therapy.
3. I will invite everyone I know along, all the time. I like people to feel invited and I am a more-the-merrier person. If I am told it drives someone nuts, I can stop for that person. But otherwise, I'm an inviting machine.
4. I only finish what I start about a quarter of the time. My follow through is severely lacking. I am a much better plan-maker than plan-doer. ~ this is Grace's and I'm stealing it because it's so true for me.
5. I am a drama queen. Not because I like drama, but I'm incredibly over-sensitive and put my foot in my mouth more regularly than I should. I'm not sure either of those things can be stopped, which is unfortunate because put together, they are a nightmare.
6. I fall hard when I fall. Regardless of whether or not it is wise.
7. I read or watch TV shows in an obsessive manner until I'm finished them, the way your average smoker takes a drag after a 24 hour flight.
8. If you grew up wealthy, I'm likely to take an unfair automatic dislike to you. ~ Also Grace's.
9. I bite my nails, and my cuticles.
10. I'm incredibly lazy.
11. I feel guilty easily.
12. I quite regularly don't answer my cell phone just because I don't feel like it.
13. I can not have a conversation without repeating myself 8 million times. It's because I often don't feel that I communicate at all well verbally. I just want you to get it, but I realise that it is annoying.
14. I interrupt because I can talk and listen at the same time and I assume that you can too. I'm sorry. It's very ingrained.
15. I am perpetually late. I always underestimate how long it will take me to get out of the house, find a cab, get there. I'm sorry. I can also fill every avaible minute that I have on what appear to be absolutely essential tasks while getting ready, whether I am forced to be ready in 15 minutes or I have several hours. I'm a putterer and I can always fill up the time.
16. I overcommit all my time because I really do want to do everything with everyone.
17. I cry. Easily and fairly often. Slightly more probable if I'm drunk. And I don't cry pretty.
18. I think everything to death. I will drive myself right 'round the bend, one of these days.
19. If you aren't employing me or someone I knew from before 3 years ago, you'll know I'm bi within about five seconds of meeting me. If you don't know what to do with that info, I don't care because I spent 27 years of my life with people all assuming I was straight and now that I've decided to tell people up front that I'm not, I can't seem to stop. Granted, if the world wanted to stop being so heteronormative, it wouldn't be such a problem. How about since I'm not going to work on this one, the rest of you out there do it for me, huh?
20. I don't like talking on the phone the way I don't like going to the gym - it's the anticipation of doing it that is usually the problem. Once I'm on and chattering, I am happy as a pig in shit. However, I tend not to call people because I am a shy, nervous person (yes, in spite of the fact that I am happy to regale people with tales of my sex life and exploding vibrators) and having to call someone up still makes me feel a bit... weird. Antsy.
21. I'm uncoordinated. I can fall over while standing still and sober.
22. I can lose something in about ten seconds because I am incredibly forgetful and put stuff down at random. If the lost thing is my glasses, I will then have to search by patting around with my hands.