Being a teacher is kinda funny for me. I was such a difficult student. I knew it even then. Underachiever, motivated only when things really, really interested me, and cynical as all hell about everything and everyone. I have lightened up on the cynicism quite a lot over the years. I am not sure my motivational triggers and achievement patterns have changed much though.
I was the kid who skipped class, handed everything in late, didn't do my homework, and regularly did a half assed job because I couldn't be bothered. Though I was also the kid paralyzed by the essay question because I found it so overwhelming to figure out where to start deciding what I thought about the answer. I think I may still be that kid too - so often, I agree with it all or see so many sides I just don't know where to go from there. It's a sort of opinion overload. It's why I so often will just stick to my opinion in a debate/discussion, but afterwards start to incorporate things others have said into my thought process.
I have friends who talk of the way I speak with implied authority. And yet, I was always the kid who teachers and parents said lacked confidence, for no apparent reason. And I am still that kid too. I just seem to fake it well. So at least I've learned something.
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