Own only what you can carry with you; know language, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Alexander Solzhenitsyn
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I. AM. CANADIAN
I missed this one the first time round. My parents mailed me a newspaper clipping with the rant though, as I was living in Scotland. I must say that I do like it. And I love that my country's patriotism is largely based around beer ;)
The best parody of that ridiculous advertisement I have ever heard:
I'm not a hacker or a terrorist.
I don't like Céline Dion or Shania Twain, but I'm glad they're getting rich.
Although I do know Jimmy, Sally and Suzy from Canada, they aren't nice as you'd think.
I am ruled by a rich white Prime Minister not a rich white President.
I don't know French but I can converse fluently in American...
...and I pronounce it a boot NOT a big shoe.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, because even though no one realizes that we are just as guilty as anyone else for the fate of the 3rd world, every one blames America.
When I am at home I realize I had better not protest deforestation or facist dictators without risking a face full of pepper spray and a criminal record.
I believe in peacekeeping, even if it means killing Somali teenagers for fun!
I believe in turning back boat loads of Chinese immigrants, a failing health care system and late night cable porn disguised as art and that the beaver is a truly proud and a beautiful part of the female body.
I believe the French should whine about anything, the English should apologize and that is pronounced zed not zee: ZED! Because that is how the Queen of England told us how to pronounce it.
Canada is the second largest land mass in the world,
the second nation in hockey,
and the best part of the northern third of North America!
1 comment:
The best parody of that ridiculous advertisement I have ever heard:
I'm not a hacker or a terrorist.
I don't like Céline Dion or Shania Twain, but I'm glad they're getting rich.
Although I do know Jimmy, Sally and Suzy from Canada, they aren't nice as you'd think.
I am ruled by a rich white Prime Minister not a rich white President.
I don't know French but I can converse fluently in American...
...and I pronounce it a boot NOT a big shoe.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, because even though no one realizes that we are just as guilty as anyone else for the fate of the 3rd world, every one blames America.
When I am at home I realize I had better not protest deforestation or facist dictators without risking a face full of pepper spray and a criminal record.
I believe in peacekeeping, even if it means killing Somali teenagers for fun!
I believe in turning back boat loads of Chinese immigrants, a failing health care system and late night cable porn disguised as art and that the beaver is a truly proud and a beautiful part of the female body.
I believe the French should whine about anything, the English should apologize and that is pronounced zed not zee: ZED! Because that is how the Queen of England told us how to pronounce it.
Canada is the second largest land mass in the world,
the second nation in hockey,
and the best part of the northern third of North America!
MY NAME IS JOE,
AND UNTIL WE ARE ANNEXED BY THE STATES,
I AM CANADIAN
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