Short Songs
Ou Est Le Papier?
A Frenchman went to the lavatory,
To have a jolly good shit.
He took his pants and trousers down,
So that he could revel in it.
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before ...
Ou est le papier?
Ou est le papier?
Monsieur, monsieur,
Je fait manure.
Ou est le papier?
All Australians ...
All Australians are born illegitimate, born illegitimate, born illegitimate
All Australians are born illegitimate, bastards through and through.
They aint got no birth certificate, birth certificate, birth certificate...
Father’s Day is a really sad holiday, really sad holiday, really sad holiday...
They don’t know just who their fathers are, who their fathers are, who their fathers are...
All Canadians wish they were Americans, wish they were Americans, wish they were Americans...
All Americans don't know geography, don't know geography, don't know geography...
Build a Bonfire
Build a bonfire, build a bonfire,
Put the Aussies on the top,
Put the Kiwis in the middle
And burn the bloody lot.
Do Re Mi
Dough, the stuff that buys me beer
Ray, the guy who serves me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long long way for beer
So, I'll have another beer
La, la la la la la beer
Tea, no thanks I'm drinking beer
Which brings us back to
Down, down, down down
Little Brown Mouse
Oh, the liquor was spilled on the barroom floor
And the bar was closed for the night
When out of his hole crept a little brown mouse
And he sat in the pale moonlight
He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat
And all night long you could hear him roar
"BRING ON THE GODDAM CAT!!!"
Well the cat came out and they had a little spat,
And the cat ate up on the mouse.
And the moral of the story isssssssssss
You can't drink liquor on the house!
With a mouse!
Drink it down down down down...
Beer Run
B-double E double R U-N beer run
B-double E double R U-N beer run
all we need is a ten and five-er,
a car and key and a sober driver.
B-double E double R U-N beer run.
FINGER IN YOUR BEER
How would, you like, my finger in your ear?
How would, you like, my finger in your ear?
Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely!
How would, you like, my finger in your rear?
How would, you like, my finger in your rear?
Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely!
How would, you like, my finger in your beer?
How would, you like, my finger in your beer?
Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely!
GLORIOUS, VICTORIOUS
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight,
Like I've never been drunk before,
Cause when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be,
Cause we're all part of the Hash House family.
Oh the Hash Family
Is the best family
To ever Come over
From Old Germany.
There's the High Hash Drunks
There's the Low Hash Drunks
There's the Asian Drunks
And the other damn drunks.
CHORUS:
Singing glorius,
Victorious!
Hey!!!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House Harriers!
THE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
Their drinking is compulsive,
Their running is convulsive,
They're morally repulsive-
The Hash House Harriers!
Their flatulence is rude an'
Their genitals protrude when
They're running in the nude in
The Hash House Harriers!
They're always shiggy-tracking
From constantly bushwhacking.
Intelligence they're lacking.
The Hash House Harriers!
Duh-duh-duh-duh-down-down
Duh-duh-duh-duh-down-down
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Duh-duh-duh-duh-down-down!
Someone’s In The Kitchen With Dinah
Dinah, won't you blow me,
Dinah, won't you blow me,
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Dinah, won't you blow me,
Dinah, won't you blow me,
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah,
Someone's in the kitchen, I know,
Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah,
Humpin' like a dynamo.
(alternate verse)
Someone's in my sister's vagina,
Someone's in my sister, I know,
Someone's in my sister's vagina,
Humpin' like a dynamo.
Rich Young Dumb Nyphomaniac
Well welcome everybody to my place
You can pull up a chair or you can sit on my face
We got everything we need,
the only thing that we lack
is a rich young dumb nymphomaniac
Chorus
I wanna rich youg dumb nymphomaniac
To drive me around in her cadillac
If she's not down on her knees she will be flat on her back
I wanna rich youg dumb nymphomaniac
we'll give her great bigtits and a little bitty ass
a fucking machine that never runs out of gas
a body like nobody's ever seen before
and she recently inherited a liquor store
Chorus
well she doesn't wanna marry and she doesn't wanna fight
she doesn't give a shit if I stay out all night
If I bring home another woman she just gives me a smile
and we take off all our clothes and then we fuck in a pile
Chorus
we'll make her three feet tall
so she stands about here
with a flat spot on her head
so I can rest my beer
Chorus
Leprosy
Leprosy, all my skin is falling off of me.
I'm not half the man I used to be.
Oh, how did I get leprosy?
Syphilis, it all started with a simple kiss.
Now it even hurts to take a piss.
Oh why did I get syphilis?
Why her box was sick I don't know, she wouldn't say.
Now my dripping dick won't get thick, now I long for yesterday ....
Boobs-Dee-ah- da (I Love the Hash World)
I love the HASH World
I love the LONG FALSE TRAILS
I love SHORT-CUTTING
I love LAGERS AND ALES
I love the HASH world
And all its sights and sounds
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
I love the SHIGGY
I love to CATCH THE HARES
I love the DOWN DOWNS
I HATE the ANTHARX SCARES
I love the HASH world
And all its craziness
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
I love the SINGING
I love the HUMPIN' HASH
I love the CAMP OUTS ...
WHERE DID I GET THIS RASH?
I love the HASH world
It's such a brilliant thing
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
Boobs-dee-ah- da, boobs-dee-ah- da
Shitonya
Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya
In Russia it means I adore ya
If I had my way
I’d shit on ya all day
Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya
Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya
In Russia it means I love ya
If I had my way
I’d piss on ya all day
Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya
Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya
In Russia it means I need ya
If I had my way
I’d cum on ya all day
Cumonya, Shitonya, Pissonya
My One Skin Hangs Down to My Two Skin
My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
CHORUS:
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back my foreskin for me.
Rule Britannia
Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam,
Five Chinese crackers up your asshole,
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!
Put Your Leg Over My Shoulder
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
(Wag tongue)
La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
(Shake head side to side)
Bla-bla-bla-bla, bla-bla-bla, bla-bla-bla.
Tastes Like Shit
If Your Girlfriend (Boyfriend) tastes like shit, roll her (him) over.
If Your Girlfriend (Boyfriend) tastes like shit, roll her (him) over.
If Your Girlfriend (Boyfriend) tastes like shit, then it's probly not her (his) clit (dick).
If Your Girlfriend (Boyfriend) tastes like shit, roll her (him) over.
Drink it Down Down Down...
A Sailor
There once was a sailor who sat on a ROCK,
Shaking his fist and abusing his...
--Neighbouring farmer who was guarding his RICKS,
Teaching his children to play with their...
--Kites and their marbles as in days of YORE,
When along came a woman who looked like a...
--Decent young lady but walked like a DUCK,
Said she was learning a new way to...
--Bring up her children to teach them to KNIT,
While the lads in the farmyard were shovelling the...
--Contents of the pigsty, the muck and the MIRE,
While the lord of the manor was pulling out his...
--Horses from the stable, preparing for the HUNT,
While his wife in her boudoir was powdering her...
--Nose and preparing her vanity BOX,
Taking precautions to ward off the...
--Gout and rheumatics for well she recalls...
What did you think I was going to say?
Well, you dirty buggers, that’s all for today!
BALLS TO MR. BANGELSTEIN
Balls to Mr. Benglestein, Benglestein, Benglestein
Balls to Mr. Benglestein, that dirty old man
He sits on the steeple and shits on the people
So balls to Mr. Benglestein, that dirty old man
He keeps us all waiting while he’s masturbating
So balls to Mr. Benglestein, that dirty old man
He ups them he downs them he fucking well grounds them
So balls to Mr. Benglestein, that dirty old man
OUR LAGER
Our lager,
Which art in barrels;
Hallowed be thy drink;
Thy will be drunk,
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head.
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration;
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer,
The Bitter, and the Lager,
Forever and ever.
On-on!
TWENTY TOES
There's a game called twenty toes,
It's played all over town.
The women play with ten toes up,
The men with ten toes down, down, down, down....
Sing a Song of Syphilis
Sing a song of syphilis.
A penis full of pus.
Four and twenty pox scabs,
Waiting to be bust.
And when her legs were opened,
What a sight to see:
Ozzy gray-green matter,
All running with the pee!
Sex Is Boring
Sex is boring, sex is boring,
Pain is fun, pain is fun.
Gonna cut my fingers off, gonna cut my fingers off,
One by one. One by one.
Amazing Beer
A - maz - ing beer,
A taste profound,
A whole keg just for thee!
The pack is lost,
But home you've found,
The beer check you can see.
Does a Hasher?
Does a hasher like to walk,
Does a hasher like to run,
Does a hasher like to be where they're having all the fun?
Can he drink a 12-ounce beer,
While his friends all sing and cheer,
Now your time has come.
My DNA
Young Girl,
I like it when you go down,
I said Young Girl,
Won't you kneel on the ground,
I said Young Girl,
With your lips full and round,
On your knees you make me happy.
(spit, spit, spit, spit, spit)
I want to spray you with My DNA,
I want to spray you with My DNA,
It's a present from me,
a gift to all of the girls
I sure hope you like to wear pearls
Drink it down, down, down . . .
Check Your Balls
Running trail in this fine city,
On-on-on-on-on, on-on, on-on.
See that girl, now ain’t she pretty?
Wood-y-wood-y-wood, wood-wood, wood-wood
She’s just fifteen, don’t dare try it
On the sex offender reg-is-try
Now it’s time for you to drink it,
Down-down-down-down-down, down-down, down-down
Give it a Blow
Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But my cock is so delightful,
And if you really want to see it grow,
Give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow.
So drink it down, down, down . . .
Hot Vagina for your breakfast
Hot Vagina for your lunch
Hot vagina for your dinner
its munch, munch, munch, munch munch
It's so tasty and nutritious
Bite size and ready to eaaaaat
Hot Vagina for your breakfast
Hot Vagina can't be beat.
