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Everything you've ever wanted to know about soju.

My head won't let this go

The Mercy Of The Fallen
Dar Williams

Oh my fair North Star
I have held to you dearly
I had asked you to steer me
'Til one cloud-scattered night

I got lost in my travels
I met Leo the lion
Met a king and met a giant
With their errant light

There's the wind and the rain
And the mercy of the fallen
Who say they have no claim to know what's right

There's the weak and the strong
And the bets that have no answer
And that's where I may rest my head tonight

I saw all the bright people
In imposing flocks they landed
And they got what they demanded
And they scratched at the ground

Then they flew
And the fear grew as sweetly for the flightless
Who had longing yet despite this
Who could hear every sound

There's the wind and the rain
And the mercy of the fallen
Who say they have no claim to know what's right

And if your sister or your brother
Were stumbling on their last mile
In a self-inflicted exile
You'd wish for them a humble friend

And I hope someday
That the best of Falstaff's planners
Give me seven half-built manors
Where half dreams may dream without end

There's the wind and the rain
And the mercy of the fallen
Who say hey it's not my place to know what's right

There's the weak and the strong
And the many stars that guide us
We have some of them inside us

Nostalgic

Things that remind me of my childhood
- my siblings
- sandcastles
- smarties
- sledding
- certain books
- meatloaf and apple crisp
- canned beans

Timeline Meme

25 years ago: I was three and had only one brother. I don't remember it, but I look pretty happy in the pictures.

20 years ago: I was 8. I still had only the one brother. Still don't really have many memories of it and there are less pictures!

15 Years ago: I was 13. Self-conscious. A Geek.

10 Years ago: I was 18. I hated Bolton, I didn't get along with my parents, I skipped a lot of school. I was just aching to get out and live life.

5 years ago: I was 23. I had graduated university and was living happily in Scotland with Alan, in spite of hating my bank job.

3 years ago: I was 25. Alan and I left Scotland and moved to Vancouver. Took the most amazing trip across Canada with him and Jenni, one which I will never forget and likely compare all future trips against.

1 year ago: I was in Korea, in a long distance relationship. I thought that I knew where I was going to be and what I was going to do for the foreseeable future. I finally discovered a job I liked, met a group of girls who taught me a lot about myself, and enjoyed being an expat.

This year: Has been hard. I turns out I was wrong about that future I thought I was going to have. I am back in Korea, getting lost and finding myself. Or just teaching and drinking.

Yesterday: I taught all day. A friend came over and managed to hook up my DVD player, which I christened by watching a horrible movie, Hostel.

Today: I woke up far too early. I will have to go to the post office on my way to work. I will be tired by the end of the day, I know that already!

Tomorrow: I am meeting someone for the first time. Hope it involves some Italian food.

Words to Live By

"Let it never be said that moss grows under your feet!"

Damn right!

Another Day, Another Dollar

It was a long day at work, mostly cause I stayed up too late and am exhausted. Which made today feel like it was Friday, but it's not. The beauty of my job is that normally I don't feel like I've already worked a full week but it's only Tuesday, usually the week flies by. Need to sleep more! In spite of my lack of sleep, I haven't done much this week. I need to clean and do laundry and mail mom's present. The only thing I did do today was go to the bank to pay my apartment bill and for the Canada Day Picnic.

A divarication arose over how to handle next year's themed party, with one faction arguing for a Hawaiian luau and another proposing a 1950s sock hop. Isn't that the best sentence ever? Or am I just a huge geek?

Korea Fighting!

Korea just beat Togo 2-1 in a World Cup Soccer match. With my windows open, I can hear the cheers of spectators. I wonder where they are all watching the game? I was at Outback eating dinner and then watched it in YunJin's room. The kids are going to be wild at school tomorrow! Go Red Devils!!!

This was weird - persued it out of a perverse curiosity

Please note - did not meet this guy. But was curious enough after the odd myspace message to add him to messanger long enough to hear what it was all about!

sean says:
hi
sean says:
this is sean from myspace we talked on myspace a few
weeks ago
sean says:
i talked to you about the $5000
Amanda says:
hey
sean says:
are you still interested?
Amanda says:
in all honesty, no. not into inflicting pain.
Amanda says:
i replied on a bit of an off day
Amanda says:
sorry
Amanda says:
and i suppose i was curious
sean says:
nor do I want pain
sean says:
more control
Amanda says:
ok. well, i don't really know what would be involved
sean says:
are you willing to hear me out or would you prefer I
left you alone?
Amanda says:
i suppose i am curious
sean says:
well basically I just want a woman or group of women
to tie me up and refuses to untie me till they have
the cash
Amanda says:
that's it?
sean says:
i dont want sex or nudity
Amanda says:
and how do we know you have the money?
sean says:
well it would be kind of dumb of me to lie
Amanda says:
well, i guess, as you'd be tied up
sean says:
exactly
Amanda says:
so, why?
Amanda says:
and where do you live?
sean says:
i like the loss of control and the fact I am in the
hands of people that care only about the cash and not
me. i live in ******
Amanda says:
how old are you?
sean says:
30
sean says:
how about you?
Amanda says:
28.
Amanda says:
well, it was a friend of mine that was actually
interested, but i am afraid she is leaving seoul on
wednesday and i wouldn't be willing to do it by myself
sean says:
well I am prepared to do it tonight
Amanda says:
where?
sean says:
in *******
sean says:
I was sposed to do it with someone else but I found
out she lied to me about some thigns
Amanda says:
how many people have you offered this to?
sean says:
a few
Amanda says:
how many is a few?
sean says:
no idea
sean says:
well are you interested
Amanda says:
i am afraid i already have plans for tonight
sean says:
u can tie me and leave
Amanda says:
it all just seems pretty damn strange
Amanda says:
and i don't really trust a guy i've never met to do
all this
sean says:
i understand
sean says:
i will be out later tonight in itaewon if you want to
meet
Amanda says:
i think i will be in hongdae, we're starting at carnae
station
sean says:
great place
sean says:
big fan of that place
Amanda says:
yeah, me too

I am a classic book I haven't read yet

I really must read more!

Which literature classic are you?

Umberto Eco: The Name of the Rose. You are a mystery novel dealing with theology, especially with catholic vs liberal issues. You search wisdom and knowledge endlessly, feeling that learning is essential in life.
Take this quiz!








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Guilt

I'm feeling really guilty about how much happier I am, now, than I was before. How much peace I feel, now that I am not living in the space i was living in before. How much better able to cope I am than I expected. How guilty I feel about being able to love someone and not want to be with them because it is right for me, even if it isn't right for them.

I know that I shouldn't feel guilty about that. But I do.

The Best Station in the Nation

A night at Carne Station is always fun. I drank far too much whisky and coke (to maximize my ability to drink all i can, i drink my drink in beer glasses, which certainly helps). And I ate a ton. And had ice cream. The World Cup game was on, so we got to watch England score. There was a weird guy in a taekwondo outfit wandering around and as we left Carne we ended up having photos taken with his group of people on the street. It was bizarre but fun. Went to Bricxx, all in honour of Tom's birthday, and had a hookah, a mojito and a peach margarehita. We attempted to go to Q-Vo, but there was some sort of fuss about ID and so we went to Saab instead, but I got waylaid by Frank, who was out in front of 66.

Had a lazy day watching movies. Date Movie was dire and The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada was weird but I liked it a lot in the end.

This is me

This article here is remarkably like parts of my life.

A Life Between Jobs
By ANNA BAHNEY
Published: June 8, 2006

TAYLOR AIKIN'S new job is across the street from his current one, but he loves to tell people he'll be taking the long way getting there.

Next Wednesday, on his last day as a senior designer at a Manhattan architecture firm, he will roll out of work early on his 2006 Ducati Monster S2R 1000 motorcycle and not stop until he reaches the Virginia state line. Before starting his new position three and a half weeks later, he'll cruise through the South, head to the Rocky Mountains and return across the Great Plains.

Mr. Aikin, 28, who has been with his firm for three years, said this is the first time he is taking a real vacation.

"Talking to the guys who take care of my bike," Mr. Aikin said, "they're jealous, because you can really only do this when you quit your job."

Many young people in the workplace are finding that quitting their job is becoming the satisfying new alternative to the standard, entry-level benefit for vacation. As they found out, the two weeks allowed to most young employees is barely enough time to visit their parents for Christmas, go to a friend's wedding and take a long weekend.

"Normal life," Mr. Aikin said, "maintaining relationships with people who don't live nearby, requires at least two weeks of your life a year."

For others like him, the solution is simple: Stop jockeying with senior employees for the prime vacation weeks. Quit and start again — but first, get away.

"The transition between jobs is just about me," Mr. Aikin said. "It is a trip that I've wanted to do, not something that is going to benefit a bunch of people."

Generations before them, studies have shown, valued tenure and career advancement. But this group sees the chutes in the world as interesting as the ladders.

There are no recent studies of the employment patterns of Generations X and Y by the Bureau of Labor Statistics. But it reports that even those born at the tail end of the baby boom held an average of 10.2 jobs between age 18 and 38, from 1978 to 2002. A 2004 study by the Families and Work Institute, a nonprofit research group, polled Generation Y employees and found they were significantly more likely to leave their job than employees who were their comparable ages in 1977 — 70 percent, compared with 52 percent.

Some use quitting as an opportunity for a good, long visit back home, or to spend time with a dying grandparent. Others want the time to embark on real vacations or adventures.

And what's wrong with taking all that ambition and putting it into a bus trip through India? A climb up Kilimanjaro? A month studying Russian in Moscow?

The trend, career experts said, is an outgrowth of today's nomadic job culture, as well as an attitude among many young people open to adventure and big experiences — and, yes, a bit of indulgence.

Why not walk away when you are young, energetic and have the opportunity to camp at the Grand Canyon? Or to visit all the national parks?

That was Jesse Keller's big ambition.

After 10 years as a software engineer for a company in San Diego, Mr. Keller, 32, was ready for a break. He rarely used all of his vacation days. But last year he quit to pursue his goal: to visit all 58 national parks.

On the phone from Montana after crossing off Grand Teton National Park (No. 38), he said there is more than whim behind his expedition.

"As the retirement age pushes farther back and the finances for that time of life are less and less certain, it was almost unconscionable to not take advantage of the opportunity to travel now when I had the money and the health," he said.

He is not afraid of finding another job — believing his skills are in demand — and he is not tied down to any location. What worries him more is keeping from burning out again.

"The trick is finding a job that has the balance built in so that I don't have to go off on a grand adventure to recover from work," he said.

There are some risks to dropping out, career counselors said.

"Gaps in the résumé are still a red flag," said Carol R. Anderson, director of career development and placement at Milano the New School for Management and Urban Policy. But for those who are not following rigid career paths, "the cross-cultural competency that is best gained from living in a different country," for instance, can be a résumé builder, she said.

Employers are more or less at the mercy of those alternative ambitions.

"Gen-X'ers have demographics working for them: there aren't a lot of them," said Judith Gerberg, who has run her own career counseling company in Manhattan since 1985. That's particularly true as baby boomers begin to retire.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Gerberg said, young people "are used to creating wonderful opportunities for themselves."

A study done by the Society for Human Resource Management found that when human resource professionals were asked to select character traits from a list to describe age groups, baby boomers were characterized as "results driven," and "plan to stay with the organization over the long term." Generation X, though, was described as "like informality," and "seeking work/life balance."

So younger professionals, unlike older workers, are more willing to chuck it all away whenever things get to be too much, optimistic that they'll be able to start over.

Valerie Karasz, 33, had been working as a bankruptcy lawyer in New York for three years when she quit last November. After spending a leisurely holiday with family in Washington and Florida, she went to a wedding in New Zealand, then spent four months traveling in Australia, Southeast Asia and central Europe.

She started a new job at a law firm doing compliance work in the alcoholic beverage industry last Monday.

"I'm excited to go back to work and start in this new industry," she said. "I feel cleansed."

And maybe that's what the younger generation gets that their parents didn't: There's always another job. Having grown up in an era of relative prosperity and upward mobility, it's easy to come to that conclusion.

"Less employer loyalty is a product of this age group — watching their parents' lives turned upside down by layoffs, downsizings, plant closings," Ms. Anderson of the New School said. "The children of these parents understand that the 'employment contract' that existed only from the end of World War II has been broken."

So quitting is not such a big deal, as surveys show. While overall worker loyalty has improved slightly in recent years, young people are still highly mobile. According to a 2005 survey by Walker Information, which conducts research on customer and employee loyalty, 50 percent of employees 18 to 24, and 39 percent of employees 25 to 29, reported having a neutral or negative attitude about the employer and did not plan to stay. The study terms this group "high risk."

"The younger group weren't always negative about the company, they may be neutral, but it was clear that they didn't plan to stay for the next two years," said Chris Woolard a research consultant at Walker. "They weren't all that attached to the company and they don't really plan to stick around."

Kimberly Thrush, 35, never thought she was the type to quit and run. But when it all got to be too constricting, she left her job in Japan as a vice president at a large American bank, after working in banking for 13 years, and headed home.

"I am the type of person who would never think of quitting a job without having one to go to," she said, expressing misgivings about finding her next job. In the meantime, she has ambitious plans. "I'm going to look for travel specials and go somewhere different," she said. "Maybe Africa."

J. R. Briggs and his wife, Megan, had six weeks off between jobs. Mr. Briggs, 27, a nondenominational evangelical pastor and Mrs. Briggs, 26, a ministry coordinator and a counselor, recently left their posts at a 5,000-member church in Colorado Springs. Both have jobs at a church in suburban Philadelphia. But before they started last week, they visited family members in Chicago and Ann Arbor, Mich., and also spent 10 days in Costa Rica.

"To be unemployed for six weeks is a healthy thing to help you say 'I am not defined by what I do,' " he said. "It helps to understand who I am, who my wife is, and that our identity is more important than anything we do."

Todd Harvey, 32, found it almost impossible to take vacation time from his job caring for the homeless as director of housing development at a faith-based nonprofit in Berkeley, Calif. He finally quit last July and traveled the country until he stumbled upon the Appalachian Trail and started walking all 2,200 miles from Georgia to Maine with his dog, Soren Kierkegaard.

By renting out a duplex he owns in California, he is able to finance his backpacking adventure until he needs to report for graduate school in San Francisco on Aug. 28.

Others sock away money for months or give up expensive apartments so they can, at least temporarily, leave their paycheck behind.

In the end, timing is everything.

"Why now when I'm 28?" said Mr. Aikin, the architect, about his coming motorcycle trip. "Retirement is too far away. And I was too broke in college."

Coke + Mentos = Crazy Fun

Pyeongteak

I went to hangout in Pyeongteak last night and all I can say is damn, is it far away! Almost a three hour subway ride. But I had a great time in spite of the mammoth journey. It's funny to see such a small town kind of place is attached to the Seoul subway system. There were so few neon lights compared to what I am used to.

All day today there have been thunder storms and rain. I love it, especially as I have been happy and dry in my apartment.

I am headed to Carne Station, the best station in the nation, for Tom's birthday party tonight. Should be fun.

I must blog more often...

...cause when I wait this long, my early onset alzheimers kicks in and I can't really remember what happened last weekend...

So, going back two weeks, I went out with Athena for her last ladies' night at the Loft and had fun. We had an interesting lunch with our boss the next day, a goodbye/hello sort of thing, where everyone was hungover except the new guy and Athena was late for her own goodbye party! Matthew is very, very tall was my first thought on meeting him.

After my lazy Saturday of my last post, I did indeed go to Carne and made the mistake of maximizing my all-you-can-drink potential but not my all-you-can-eat potential. made for a drunken, but fun, night. Went for a couple of hours of norae bang, cause you can never do enough singing, really, and then we met up with Athena and Lucia in Stompers. I love dancing.

Since last Sunday was memorial day, the Americans all had a long weekend. Athena, Lucia and I went and did a bit of shopping in Itaewon (where I bought Mom a birthday present that is going to be extremely late!) and then went home. We left only for both of us to get texts from people saying they were in Itaewon drinking. So after a brief rest at home, we went back to Geckos and hung out with Amber, Marisa, and crew. Met a helicopter pilot named Brian who tells the dirtiest jokes, and Marcel and his friends. Athena and I ended up in Hongdae until 4.30 in the morning on a SUNDAY!!! Craziness. But fun.

Then Alan arrived to visit. I wish I could say it went well, but it didn't. It was ackward and we fought and I asked him to stay in a hotel because of those things. He was pretty upset by that. We saw each other a bit, but really, it was just far too painful and uncomfortable. I don't really know what else to say about the whole thing.

He came with us for galbi and amused us by stabbing his chopstick through the garlic container, releasing oil all over the grill. Julie was all for putting water on it to try and improve the situation, which would likely have been very amusing. Watch the foreigners burn down the galbi restaurant!!! We went to Insadong and the temple Saturday and then we went out Saturday evening to Geckos. I went on to Hongdae with my friends and we met a bunch of new people, including a guy YunJin went to university with and Frank and his cowboy-hatted friend.

I have spent a lot of this week watching scary movies - The Exorcism of Emily Rose and the remake of the Amityville Horrors - and commuting in and out of Itaewon. I made the mistake of going into What the Book on our day off and spent $30. It was a relaxing day off - mostly I ate and drank all day!

I have some weekend plans, though nothing too solid yet. Will have to wait and see what comes up!

Woohoo!

The rain has now become a crazy big storm! Lightening! Thunder! I love storms!

This is the second big one since I moved back to Seoul. The last was at night, which is when I like them best, though it always makes me think of Lucky and how scared she was of storms. Which makes me a bit sad.

Contentment

It is a rainy Saturday in Seoul. And it is 5 pm. All I have done today is slept in and surfed the net. I am sitting here reading blogs, eating chips with salsa and drinking coke in my undies. And I am content.

I have more ambitious plans for the evening and tomorrow. And I did go out to the Loft Thursday and played the Sex in the City trivia game with the girls at Amber's last night (and I suck!). We watched the last episode of Season 1 of the L Word, which gives me hope that Season 2 might start next week. Carnae Station tonight is in the plans and undoubtably some dancing. Lindsay's ticket has been purchased, so summer plans are shaping up nicely. I will be eating Italian food tomorrow for lunch.

Life is good. It is funny to think that these sorts of lazy, nothing going on days used to be depressing for me. Now, they are perfect. It's all in my state of mind, I guess, and just now my state of mind is pretty damn good. Thanks to everyone who has been helping me get to where I am now. I appreciate you all more than I can say.

Why I was right not to clean

So, I moved into an apartment that had been on fire only a week before. It had been professionally cleaned, but still, there was a ton of fine black soot in weird places (for example, I had to wash my hangers before I could use them). So, I did a ton of cleaning but the bathroom was more of a prefuntory clean at the time and I hadn't gotten around to anything better. I took a brief glance under the washing machine and saw how badly the drains drained and I knew these things had to be dealt with but I had been ignoring it. This morning, I decided it was time.

And I buggered my ankle fairly comprehensively. Lying on the bed in pain wondering how I was going to teach comprehensively. I sprained it originally two weeks ago tomorrow, after a night at the Loft. That's right, I am admitting to a drinking injury. That said, in a country of sidewalks that are anything but straight and weak ankles, this was bound to happen. I am a klutz. But it was healing until I stood on it in just the wrong way at the end up my cleaning session.

So now I am wearing an extremely sexy ace bandage. But I wanted to wear a skirt out dancing on Saturday, so I am not pleased. I doubt dancing will occur without the bandage on though. Sigh.

Apparently I shouldn't have cleaned...

I am a book that I haven't yet read

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by
sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give
consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the
one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions
barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff
could get you killed.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

100 Statements

Here's how this works. Frog had a list of 100 statements that she got from Les, who got it from Em, who got it from Dana, who got it from Dea. The list Frog got had some things bolded--those were statements from Dana's list that were also true for Em. Anything that was true from Em's list, Les bolded. Anything that wasn't, she replaced with a statement of her own. Below is my list, based on the one from Frog.

01. I need more cardigans.
02. I don't get enough sleep.
03. I eat a lot of cheese.
04. I get cold far too easily for a Canadian.
05. I am often late.
06. I love the Loft on Thursday night.
07. I like anything that makes me think... Even if it's something I don't agree with.
08. I didn't eat much today.
09. I love toast.
10. I love jean skirts.
11. I love soft sweaters.
12. I love email.
13. I love the springtime
14. I love Sex in the City.
15. I wear glasses
16. I don't know where I'll be on Christmas Eve
17. I don’t know how to knit
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I wish I could speak Spanish better
20. I think it’s funny that the Wright memorial flight didn’t fly.
21. I want to live near the ocean.
22. I think Conservative Republicans are destroying society.
23. I love muppets
24. I love going out to dinner with friends.
25. I write thank you notes for everything.
26. I want to take a nap
27. I sing along to music constantly
28. I wish I spent more time with good friends back home.
29. I have interesting photos on my computer.
30. I rarely dream.
31. I like to read before bed
32. Both my grandmothers are still alive.
33. I don't drive.
34. I love my coworkers.
35. I love to shop.
36. I love the snow.
37. I think I am slowly learning to stop worrying about what other people are thinking.
38. Myspace is an addiction.
39. I find myself incredibly funny sometimes
40. My middle names are the names of my grandmothers.
41. I love going to the Lantern Parade in Seoul for Buddha's Birthday.
42. I have never seen Carnivale.
43. I have at least one scar.
44. I love taking a taxi.
45. My eyes are blue.
46. I never know what day it is.
47. I like signing up for classes, but don’t like attending them.
48. I love board games
49. I have kissed a girl
50. I've seen snow before.
51. I love being on the internet.
52. I stare too much at this computer screen.
53. I love rum and coke.
54. I get impatient with stupid people.
55. I am happy to have caller id on my cellphone
56. I want to spend christmas in Vietnam.
57. This is way too long.
58. I hate people who don't think for themselves.
59. I like when my friends write me letters and emails, it makes me feel special.
60. I am bad at yoga
61. Rollercoasters are amazing.
62. I love dancing.
63. I’m a teacher.
64. I am a stickler for spelling and grammar.
65. I adore music.
66. I love eating.
67. I see the dentist once every couple of years.
68. I like to talk on the phone
69. I need to charge my ipod
70. I don't believe in god.
71. I love the thought of someone loving me
72. All of my parents who are living are married
73. I'm a Radiohead fan.
74. I love family gatherings
75. I have little patience much of the time
76. I never have enough time
77. I've never had a chocolate chai.
78. I love pineapple
79. I think homosexuals should be allowed to get married and that abortion is a right
80. I am tired.
81. I love fruit.
82. I appreciate chocolate more than most.
83. I haven't seen enough of the world.
84. I like apple pie.
85. I like open minded people.
86. I daydream a lot.
87. I love snacks.
88. My friends are amazing.
89. My job has nothing to do with what I got my degree in.
90. I've never had a surgery as a direct result of my drinking.
91. Mty students make up their own words to songs all the time.
92. I know the words to many Beatles songs
93. I've learned a lot from people who have hurt me.
94. Very religious people freak me out.
95. I have lost touch with most old boyfriends.
96. I procrastinate on things that I don't want to do in hopes that people will forget about them.
97. I'm a list maker
98. I love being warm
99. I am in hiding from the news.
100. I love giving advice